


Three Stars

by Kara_Eclipse



Series: The Fall of the Stars [1]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 00:48:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6401095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kara_Eclipse/pseuds/Kara_Eclipse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maglor is in denial about the deaths of his three younger brothers. This is shortly after the Second Kinslaying. This is in the HoME version where one of the twins dies at Losgar in the burning of the ships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Stars

It was hard to deny that they were gone. Everywhere he turned Maglor saw something that reminded him of them. He half expected Celegorm to come walking down the hall covered in blood and dirt from his latest hunt, or Caranthir to walk past him muttering numbers, and ideas for improving their defenses. Yet none of that happened, and he could almost convince himself that they were just away on a hunting trip or out visiting one of their allies.  
Nelyo gave him a pitying look when he thought that he couldn’t see it. Ambarussa just avoided him not wanting to break him out of his denial of the truth, knowing in the way he sometimes did that sooner or later something would happen that would break him out of his self-imposed delusions. He should have expected it when it finally did happen. He walked into the forge to talk to Curufin about some weapon designs; only to find that no one was there, and Curufin was always there at this time of day.  
At that moment everything he had been trying so hard to forget came crashing down around him, and he collapsed to his knees. He tried to stand and leave, but his legs wouldn’t obey him. All he could do was sit there on the stone floor staring blankly at the fires of the forge in front of him where his brother would usually be standing forming some masterpiece that they could use somehow whether it was in battle, or merely to appreciate the beauty of until it could be traded for some supplies from the Thindar.  
He tried to fight back the tears, and sobs that wanted to come now. He almost managed to keep them at bay then a dog outside barked, and he buried his face in his hands crying silently. His shoulders shook with suppressed sobs as the memories of their dead bodies came rushing back to him. He had at least eased the passing of one of his brothers, but the weight of their lifeless bodies, and the sickening knowledge that he would never see them alive again on these shores stole whatever comfort he may have found in that.  
He lost track of how long he had been there crying at last for the loss of not just one, but three of his brothers. Eventually it seemed that his absence had been noticed, and he felt arms wrap around his shoulders pulling him into a gentle hug. He automatically shifted to wrap his arms around whoever it was not really caring who saw him like he was, only that someone cared enough to look for him.  
He sobbed violently clinging to whoever it was holding him. The person ran a hand through his hair rocking him gently. He slowly started calming enough to start putting together little details that would say who it was. The first thing he noticed was the song that the person was humming softly. It was one he had written for his little brothers, and didn’t that thought hurt. Someone was using the song he had written to put his dead brothers to sleep to calm him. He shook as a fresh wave of pain crashed through his mind. The next thing he noticed was a glimmer of red out of the corner of his eye, so it was one of his brothers that found him. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to rage, or be grateful that it was one of the two. He decided on neither, and closed his eyes not wanting to see the world around him right then.  
He sank back below the wash of pain, guilt, and grief before his mind could tell him anything else to identify which brother it was. He could have, no he SHOULD have been there fighting Dior not them. He was older, and it was his job to protect them, but it looked like he was doomed to fail them. He hadn’t been able to hold the Gap, and he hadn’t been there to protect them from the elves that killed them. All he felt both when he found them there and now was agonizing guilt. How many more times was he doomed to fail his family when they needed him? He felt hands tightening around his wrists, and his arms burned. Distantly he realized that he had been clawing at his own arms trying to relieve the emotional pain he felt even for a few short seconds. There were two people with him now one was talking in a low quiet voice, and the other sounded like they were panicking. He wanted to ask why the second one was panicking; everything would be fine just as soon as he woke from this nightmare, but then he remembered that this wasn’t a nightmare, and four of his brothers were dead, gone, never to be with him again.  
The scent of cinnamon drew him away from his pain a little, just enough to realize that both of his brothers were there. Nelyo was holding him tightly to his chest, and Ambarussa was holding his wrists tightly. He whined trying to free his wrists from the grip his little brother had on them, but it didn’t do anything. Nelyo was talking to him trying to get him to respond yet all his words vanished beneath all he felt. Ambarussa started singing a different song, also one he wrote, but this one wasn’t for the same purpose as the other one. This one he had written as a lament for the other red haired twin He felt all the emotions whipping through his mind slow, and his body started relaxing into his older brother’s.  
He was still crying, but slowly the pain calmed. Finally he murmured against Nelyo’s shoulder what he had been thinking in the back of his mind since he had buried his little brothers. “It’s my fault…”  
“What is?” Nelyo’s voice was calm, and soothing.  
“Their deaths; I should have been the one fighting Dior. Not them, it never should have been them.” The hand that had been running through his hair soothingly stilled for a moment before resuming its motions.  
“No it wasn’t. If it is anyone’s fault it was Dior’s. He refused to return to us what is rightfully ours.”  
“You really think so?” He cringed slightly at the desperation in his voice, but he truly needed to know if his brother blamed him, or not.  
“It wasn’t your fault.” Both of them answered him. The certainty in their voices burned away the worst of the guilt he felt, and he nodded silently. Nelyo rocked him gently while Ambarussa took care of the gouges he’d clawed into his arms. He slowly fell asleep, but just before he was completely asleep he heard Nelyo quietly murmurer. “Sleep songbird. If anyone is to be blamed then it isn’t you. You did what you could to keep us safe. Now let someone else have a turn.”


End file.
